Member-only story
“You’re not as pretty as you used to be. You’ve gotten fat.”
I stare at my then-boyfriend in shock. I’m upset anyone would speak to me like this, especially someone who regularly professes their love for me.
I tell him to leave if he hates how I look. He doesn’t, so I end things myself. There are better ways to express your disdain for someone’s appearance if you absolutely can’t resist keeping your mouth shut.
His harsh words take me back to my childhood, and I remember the stress of dealing with a weight-obsessed family member. Out of respect for my family, I won’t reveal this person’s true identity here, but we’ll call her Sheila.
Sheila took joy in reminding me of my obesity during my teen years, even though I was underweight at the time and clocked in at just over 100 pounds. I was shamed for eating regular meals and warned that nobody would love me if I didn’t stop gaining weight.
She was right to an extent. I lost the aforementioned boyfriend after my weight gain, and he certainly wasn’t the first guy to make a rude comment about my body. Some guys were flat out rude, and some attempted to disguise their criticism as concern. As if comments like “I’m just worried about your cholesterol” and “You could get diabetes” are believable when they come from shallow people.
