I Dreaded Holidays as a Child, But Now I Love Them

I want to give my kids the childhood I never had

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

As a child, I hated Christmas.

There were so many expectations. So much pressure to have a magical experience despite the stress of being raised in poverty by two addicts. Long holiday breaks with no in-person interaction from teachers or friends.

I was trapped in a small home with my family for weeks. Winter break always felt way too long, and I was miserable. I anxiously awaited the new year because it meant I’d return to school.

As I got older, I dreaded small talk from adults. “What’s your favorite holiday?” was a popular question, and I was embarrassed to say I despised them all. Especially Christmas.

I learned Santa’s true identity when I was just 4 years old. An avid reader, I’d found the truth in a book geared toward teens. Nobody censored what I read when I was a child. They were too wrapped up in their own problems.

It was a relief, honestly. I already had enough pressure to be the perfect child, and it was exhausting. I didn’t need the added stress of impressing Santa, too.

My children, though? They believe in the magic of Christmas. Some of them know Santa’s identity now, but they don’t spoil it for their siblings…