Member-only story
I Dated a Guy Who Talked Like a Baby
The evening was going well. Smoke floated slowly above my incense holder, infusing my living room with sandalwood and citrus. The amethyst lights draped around my bookshelf twinkled, illuminating the sofa with a soft purple glow. Music vibrated from the Echo Dot on my table, providing background noise for our lively conversation.
“Alexa, play The Way I Live by Baby Boy Da Prince.”
Not the most romantic song, but my date and I had the same taste in music. I discovered this while blasting my 90s playlist a few days earlier.
My date bobbed his head to the beat before smiling happily and saying, “I habbing so much fun. I wike you a lot.”
I froze. Did this 35-year-old guy seriously just speak to me in a baby voice? Baby talk has always been one of my pet peeves. Nothing grates on my nerves quite like mispronounced words spoken in a whiny, high-pitched voice.
“Run!” my brain screamed, but I silenced my thoughts. I was probably overreacting. My date was a nice guy, and we’d been having a blast getting to know each other for the last week. He had no way of knowing how much I despise baby talk.
We all have flaws and weird little quirks, right? Maybe I could look past this.
